Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Taboo From The Very Beginning

[Posted January 5, 2016]

INFERTILITY!!!!!

This word haunts me every day and I feel very vulnerable sharing it. A wise woman told me not to be quiet about it, share it, and know you’re not alone. But I figure I can wait until I make a baby announcement and then talk about how I struggled. Struggled with thoughts of feeling inadequate as a woman/wife because I am unable to conceive.

First reaction I get from folks are:
- Have you seen a doctor? Did they do blood work? Did you try fertility treatments?
- Have you tried acupuncture?
- Are you gluten intolerant?
- Have you thought about adoption?
- Have you thought about IVF or IUI?
- Don’t think about it and relax!
- You should try charting every single day!
- There’s this app, here’s this article, there’s this doctor, take this, take that, take a picture of your uterus, here’s a picture of mine….and on and on

To those who already knew this about me, thank you for the advice, prayers and encouraging words. I’m grateful by all of your expressions of love and advice.

To those who didn’t know, and are curious, I did in fact try 90% of those things. Anything less than $1,000 I have tried thus far. I’m not looking for extra tidbits of knowledge and what other tactics to do, in fact, I’m kind of over it.

This 2 year journey, 7 if we want to be technical with it, has illuminated my eyes in seeing how sovereign my God, Jesus the Christ, is. I have drawn closer to Him as a result of this and discovering strongholds in my life that has grown my marriage and spiritual relationship with the Lord. Every month I pray, “Lord, I’d rather be here in your perfect will than anywhere else; babies or no babies.” But it’s hard Y’ALL. However, my prayer life is stronger, strongholds have been broken and God still sits on His throne.

If I were to have a word for 2015 and one for 2016 it would be ‘Revelational’ and ‘Trust’. This year Daniel and I will put more of our trust in God and know that His path is always greater than our own. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

So there, I said it. I am struggling with infertility. People know, you know, it’s real now. #whew #tmiTuesday #myinfertilitystory #GodIsSovereign

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