The 8th Week

When I first found out I was pregnant, at about 5 weeks, I couldn't wait to see the Doctor and get this process going thinking: "What medications do I need to take?", "What exercises can I do?", "How many ultrasounds do I get?", "Let's get things going, I'm ready!!!".

To much of my disappointment they wanted me to wait until my 8th week to come back. "WHAT?!?!", "What if something happens between now and then?", "What do I do?" 

It seemed like eternity then finally the 8th week came. I didn't know what to expect but I remember someone saying make sure you film your reaction at that first appointment. Therefore, I asked a good friend to come with me to film it.

At first, I had no clue what I was looking for, my mind was filled with thoughts of: "What if they don't see anything?", "What if I have to start over?", "What if they see something abnormal and I will never even be able to sustain a child in my womb?"

I was preparing myself for tears of joy or tears of pain. Then finally, they tell me that the little graham cracker thingy is the baby and I...FELT...NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. "What if that's not really it?", "I don't feel anything, maybe I'm not meant to be a mom after all.", "What is wrong with me?"

The tears started flowing when I saw that heart beat and lastly I think:
"Thank You God, You are so faithful"
"8 long years of wait"
"Finally"

While also hearing God say:
"Don't worry, I got this."
"Everything beautiful in its time"
"My promises will be fulfilled in you"
"Trust in Me"

And in that moment, I knew I was going to be a mom, my husband a father and our future a child.